Coming Up For Air

Okay, so I haven't been very good about documening the past 8 months of Tyler's life, or all 8 months so far of Tyrien's. When I was little I remember seeing my empty baby book and feeling sad that I couldn't learn about my early years, to which my mother explained, "I had four children. I didn't have time to write anything down." It made sense, but I couldn't relate. Now I get it. I only have two children, not even close to 4, and I don't get a chance to exercise, let alone blog. And before anyone tries to lecture me on how "nobody thinks they have time for exercise", let me be clear - I am up at 5:20am, leave the house by 6:40am, and get home around 6:30pm. Tyrien is reluctant to drink from a bottle, so he skimps on eating/drinking at daycare, and then stocks up at home, spending a ton of time nursing in the evenings,overnight, and in the early morning at home. So my time spent at home is consumed by nursing, laundry, dishes, scarfing down dinner in between nursing sessions, and accidentally falling asleep on the couch while nursing. As for "sleep", I go to bed at about 10:30, after a "final" nursing session, then if he is teething or having an ear infection am awakened at 12:30 for another nursing session, then even if not, I"m usually awakened at 2am to let Vader out, then at 3am to tuck Tyler back in, then again between 4 and 4:30am to nurse Tyrien again, at which point I give up and bring him into bed with me, until 5:20, when my alarm goes off. And then sometimes I nurse him again before we leave, or I nurse him once I get to his school. I often have to choose between taking a shower or eating something. So clearly, I could exercise, if I got up at 3:30am, or if I stayed up past 10:30 at night, and I would just get less sleep. Considering how slow I am at math and how my mouth keeps saying different words than my mind is intending to say, I'm guessing I can't afford to skimp more on sleep. I'm all for Ferberizing, but it doesn't work if the child is genuinely hungry or in pain. Also, each time he has cut teeth, he's cut two teeth at a time, with raging ear infections over a week before the teeth finally erupt. So those nights, he was up even more often, and of course we tried to wait it out, thinking it was just teething, then eventually trying home remedies for ear infections, and finally going to the doctor and ending up with antibiotics - very little sleep going on throughout that timeframe. So the new rule is, I'll be more mindful of how often I'm getting up at night, and then if we''ve gotten to the point of  asking ourselves, "is this teething, or an ear infection?" that means it probably IS an ear infection, and then if it's not better within two days of garlic oil, we'll take him to the doctor.

But I digress. Back to pictures from the early days. Here's two. 

This one was taken when he was 3 days old. Look, his legs are still curled! 

And here, he reminds me of how Tyler looked when he was about 10 days old, except Tyrien is almost a month old here:

Tyson only had one day off from work, the day Tyrien was born. After that, I was on my home. Since I have difficulty relaxing when I have guests, or even when I have loved ones trying to help, I opted to fly solo during my family medical leave time. I was nervous about being home alone with a newborn, thinking it would be a ton of work keeping the house clean, cooking for myself, diapering, nursing...Instead, I found, when you don't have help, there's much less work to do. (Provided your husband takes your four-year old to preschool, that is.) I had stocked up on soups and frozen lasagna, so while it wasn't healhty food, it was filling, comforting, and very few dishes to wash. Without guests, less dirt gets tracked in. Without guests, I stayed in our bedroom, in bed all day. This inspired Vader to stay in the bedroom too, so he wasn't asking to go outside throughout the day, which also cut down on the dirt factor. Without guests, I actually slept most of the day, and felt recovery was much faster. I followed the midwives' advice of letting Tyrien sleep on my chest in my bed during daylight hours, for skin to skin time, and while that kept me in a light sleep, it felt like good bonding time, which again, I wouldn't have had with guests. So while it was lonely, it felt more restful and healing, and I was able to go back to work when Tyrien was just 5 weeks old.

During those early weeks, it was apparent how good Tyrien is at moving his body to where he wants it, and at communicating his preferences. He did go through a colicky phase where he would cry nonstop in the evenings, until eventually his digestive system matured, and that eased up. Oddly, car rides didn't help with this. But Tyson brilliantly figured out that, unlike any other baby we'd ever met, Tyrien preferred to lay flat on his back at that time of evening, and just be left alone. The chaise lounge part of our couch turned out to be his favorite spot - he would lay with his head at the foot end so it was elevated, and he'd finally relax enough to fall asleep. We also figured out pretty quickly that Tyrien is not soothed by pure hugging, he needs movement - walking around the house, pacing back and forth, dancing/bouncing, or going for a walk in the stroller.

Those five weeks went quickly, yet I couldn't imagine staying home any longer. I'll always treasure the memory of that time, with warm sunlight, a huge, comfortable bed, a dog by my side, and a baby sleeping on my chest.