Continued from Part II...
Eileen continued to be a frequent visitor at our house. Tyler and Eileen met when they were 3, at preschool. They have not been in the same class ever since that first year, but they are at the same school, and continue to be best friends. This house is ideal for entertaining - there are so many options available to them - Eileen enjoys climbing up on the top bunk of the bunk beds, or they spend time in the family room, outside on the swingset, and occasionally, they end up in the living room to watch music videos. Eileen and her dad sometimes bike home from school, her dad kindly escorting us to our house before they head home. We enjoy the company, and he enjoys the opportunity for her to burn off some energy before homework time. That green shirt reminds me, Tyler got Eileen excited about Minecraft, and so her mom let her sign up for Minecraft Club since Tyler was doing it. And...the club was so popular that they had to split it into two sessions. Eileen's club met on a different day. So much for getting to be together!
In September, Tyrien began watching Octonauts instead of A Dog's Life. We were happy with this too, it teaches facts about marine life and the importance of protecting the environment. Not to mention, I hope our kids will be as interested in marine life as I am when they grow up, so we can go on diving adventures together.
I asked Tyrien what kind of birthday party he wanted, but he was not able to answer. Based on his interest, we decided to throw another Octonauts birthday party. I'm still trying to figure out the best way to prepare for a party in light of our hectic schedules and the fact that kids tend to make messes. I had always thought that hosting a party at our own house would allow us to prep in advance, but so far, it has been windy or rainy the day before each party. This year, I took the day before off, and invited Anne Marie. I love party prepping with Anne Marie, it reminds me of the time we used to spend alone together, pre-kids, when Tyson had to work on Saturdays. This time, we got off to a slow start because I was stuck dealing with a work issue and was delayed. Then we cleaned, but the house was messy again by the next day. Next time, we'll make the cake and prep decorations first, and save the cleaning for either the night before or the day of the party. We were also trying to anticipate Tyson's preferences, which fluctuate between believing the inside of the house doesn't need to be clean because it's an outdoor party, to wanting a portion of the inside clean in case people come inside, to wanting the entire house spic and span AND wanting the yard cleaned up as well. Again, next time, decorations should be prepped first, even if they can't be hung yet.
I couldn't find Octonaut party invitations, so found a template and printed them at Kinko's. Tyrien was so excited to see his name sharing the same piece of paper as the Octonauts, so we posted it on the refrigerator at his eye level.
Tyrien had just moved from the 2 year old classroom to the 3 year old class - the same teacher and classroom that Tyler had! Unfortunately, the kids we invited to the party were young 2 year olds instead of older 2s and young 3s. That changed the dynamic of the party! Several planned activities were instantly scrapped. Tyrien opted to play with the older kids, ignoring his younger guests, who preferred the swings, sticking close to their parents.
This is blurry, but such a happy memory - Leo lookinng on as Tyrien slides into the pile of Izzy, Tyler, and Eileen. We feel so lucky that our kids are so comfortable with the children of our friends, and that they are growing up together.
We did convince all the kids to play Duck, Duck, Goose, only we called it, "Squid, Squid, Octopus." Dahkniel helped me run a fishing pond, where the kids threw their line over the wall, and he hooked a ziplock bag with a paper fish, fish stickers, and a Finding Dory pencil, tugged the line, and the kids pulled their fish back over the wall to retrieve it. The kids that were on the top deck of the swing set were proud to share the secret behind the fishing pond, watching Dan hook the fish. It had never occurred to me that this was supposed to be a secret.
I made jello cups with "eels" in them, so the kids had to dig through the jello to find their sea creature. This was a bigger hit than I expected.
It was fun to see how some kids proceeded to eat the jello, while others were repulsed by it!
During pre-party prep, I showed Tyrien pictures of Octonaut-themed cakes to choose from. He selected the same cake I had made for Tyler's fifth birthday. This time I used fondant. I don't like the taste, but I do like working with the texture, and realized that instead of buying a bunch of different candies, I could just color and shape the fondant accordingly. This year, I didn't buy enough fondant, and was trying to stretch it over and over until it finally occurred to me to read the box to see how much fondant was needed for that size cake, so I had to make an emergency trip to the store late at night. So much for being faster at cake-making this year.
The last time I made this cake, there wasn't enough to go around, so this year, I made a sheet cake to serve as the ocean. We ended up with way too much cake. C'est la vie. But it is so fun to see the look of joy on a child's face when they see their birthday cake. I should try to make sure to capture THAT photo.
We coached him on creating a sales pitch, then listened to his side of his phone calls. He left a message for Anne Marie. So we tried Jonell. He left another message. Anne Marie called back. He gave his pitch, and of course, we heard her ask, "How much do you think I should pledge?"
"How about $5 per lap? Or maybe $20."
"How about $2 per lap?" she countered.
"How about 5?" he countered back. I couldn't stop cracking up.
Then Aunt Jonell called back. He was still negotiating with Anne Marie, so I gave Jonell a heads' up about the glossiness of the brochures until he was ready to start working on her. His sales pitch went smoothly, and he closed the deal quickly. Next was Grandma G. Somehow he convinced her to pledge $5 a lap! He was going to be allowed to run up to 36 laps! I quickly did the math, and told him to warn her how much money she might be committing to.
Tyler was proud that he had five pledges. The day of the race, I helped him select a layered outfit for running. I was sad that neither of his parents were going to see him run. That morning, I asked how many laps he thought he could run. "I don't know."
"How many laps have you been running during practice?"
"What practice?"
"During gym, then."
"We can't run in the gym, it's too small."
"How have you been preparing for this run?"
"We collected money."
I was downright freaked at this point. Who ever heard of running up to 36 laps without ever practicing? I did the math. 2.25 miles. I remember when I first started running in PE, one mile was a big deal. 2.25???
My coworker convinced me I should go watch him run, and offered to cover my class for me. Tyson was home sick that day, so he showed up to watch him run, too. It turned out, the kids had to stop after each lap to get a tally mark on their T-shirt. Plenty of rest. Tyler cranked out those 36 laps just fine.
The friends found each other quickly.
Proving they actually completed all 36 laps...
I'm sure the school didn't make much money on a fundraiser like this, but it was a joy to see Tyler push himself and succeed. He was so proud!
It was also time to focus on Christmas. We again went to the tree sale for the Tucson Boys' Chorus. This year we selected a Douglas Fir. Beautiful tree, but no pine scent, yet Tyson and I were allergic.
I continued Jonell's tradition (which is really her mother-in-law, Peggy Johnson's tradition) of matching Christmas jammies for willing participants (Tyler, Tyrien, Anne Marie and me.) This year Target had some cute ones. Unfortunately, Anne Marie's and my package contained only a child size 4 blue legging instead of adult pajamas. It took some work, but I was lucky enough to get the problem resolved in time for Christmas. Meanwhile, the boys started wearing theirs right away. Tucson winter is so short, and this house gets so cold, I figured they were right, it was impractical to wait until Christmas Eve to wear them.
In keeping with my desperate ploy to teach my kids that Christmas is about "giving", not receiving, Tyler was required to join me in working for Toys for Tots. Maybe not the best venue for my goal - a warehouse full of toys. He was most uncooperative this year, even though we were lucky enough to be "runners" - taking the tickets from the parents, and running from one toy section to the next, selecting gifts for the family. I loved seeing the look of relief on the parent's face when we handed her multiple bags of toys. But Tyler wasn't feeling it. My quest to teach Tyler the spirit of Christmas was nowhere near complete.
We made cookies well in advance this year, and I learned the error of planning ahead - most of the cookies disappeared before it was time to give them away. But it was a great way to get the kids in the spirit of Christmas. We made cookie cutter sugar cookies, took the time to decorate them, and managed to reserve a couple for Santa. Then Tyson informed us that Santa doesn't actually like sugar cookies. He prefers chocolate chip. So on Christmas Eve we resorted to making slice and bake chocolate cookies, just to get in good with Santa.
Tyler prepared a plate of cookies for his teacher. I invited him to consider making a plate of cookies for last year's teacher, too - I know he still sees her, she was his soccer coach, and I remembered him commenting on how happy she was when he brought her a cookie last year. Good thing! While his teacher's reaction to her Christmas cookies was a harsh "Careful - don't drop them, you'll make a mess!" his previous teacher was delighted with her gift. One step forward towards understanding the spirit of Christmas...
Tyrien fell in love with this hat.
The Santa hat with the Halloween skeleton jammies reminds me of Jack Skellington and the Nightmare Before Christmas.
It is funny just how much we remember from our first job. When lifeguarding, when a kid gets injured, the first thing we do is get them into the first aid office, away from all the action, away from other people. We were trained to be calm, and by remaining calm, help to calm the injured child, along with a soothing tone of voice and demeanor, and to make them believe their injury is relatively mundane. When our kids get hurt now, the first thing I do is almost always to carry them to the bathroom with the first aid supplies, trying to get them away from the action of the rest of the household, and to speak in soothing tones, staying calm, treating them as though their injury is no cause for alarm. Tyson has a different approach.
When Tyrien cried out, "It burns!", I picked him up, carried him to the bathroom and stood him up on the counter so I could see, while he continued to scream and cry. From the outside, I could see the ball shaped object was so high, it was near his tear duct. I began massaging it downward, trying to soothe him. After a couple minutes, he was still crying, the ball was still stuck, and I was beginning to consider the thought that a trip to the ER might be in our future...Tyson eventually overheard the ruckus, and burst into the bathroom, shouting, "Really? Are you going to be THAT kid? Don't be that kid who puts stuff up their nose! Oh, wow, it's way up there!!!" Tyson shouldered his way in, and took over massaging his nose, by which time the candy had begun to melt, so colored liquid was running out of Tyrien's nose. Tyson taught him to perform a farmer's blow into a babywipe, and eventually the little green candy came out, along with brightly colored mucus. Tyrien hugged Tyson fiercely in relief. I laughed at the fact that I can calmly, soothingly, work on a child's injuries, while Tyson comes in yelling and scolding, and yet the kids are instantly comforted by his presence. Just the other day, Tyrien was running to the mailbox and tripped and fell, landing at my feet. I began to soothe him and look at his injuries, and sure enough, Tyson came running outside, scolded him for running too fast down a hill, picked him up, and again I watched as Tyrien collapsed in relief against him. Even Vader used to sit still to let Tyson pluck cactus from his legs, scolding and complaining all the while. It never occurred to me that first aid with simultanous scolding would be comforting, yet clearly, it is, and it's obviously a role Tyson delights in. I hope our kids always remember their father rushing to attend to their injuries, and the comfort they derived from his approach.
Our neighborhood "Rooftop Santa" was different this year - the house that Santa had always visited had been sold, and no one with a flat roof was offering to let Santa have a party on his roof. Hey, it's an old neighborhood, everyone's probably afraid his bodyweight would cause permanent damage. Plus, it seems the houses with the flat roofs are the ones that are less likely to have a chimney. He needs a chimney for his show. So this year, instead of a show, it was just a beautifully decorated yard, and a photo op with Santa. It turned out, Anne Marie had taken Tyler to see Santa the day before, unbeknownst to me, so Tyler saw no point in waiting in line to talk to Santa again. I could see his point. I asked Tyler to please be a good sport for Tyrien so we could get a photo. He begrudingly agreed. We waited in line, and, right when it was their turn, Tyrien suddenly realized he was too afraid to sit with Santa. Another good reminder that Christmas is about people - human beings. Little human beings who have their own hopes, dreams, and fears, independent of their parents', and who don't always want to do the things we expect them to do.
But they still have to make the effort. I took every opportunity I saw to teach Tyler about social contracts. "If you want to celebrate Christmas, you have to fulfill the social contract. Christmas is not about getting toys. It's about celebrating the birth of Jesus, the life of Jesus, and honoring his life's work by being kind and generous to others. If you really want to skip volunteering to help the less fortunate, and you want to skip the church service, then we're not honoring the true meaning of Christmas, and that means we don't need to be celebrating Christmas." "I want to celebrate Christmas!" Okay. Then you have to volunteer and go to church. AND you have to smile for pictures."
Finally Christmas Eve arrived. Anne Marie came packed and ready for a sleepover. Our quest to find the right church has been a long one, but we liked Catalina at Easter, because they were so kid-friendly, so we returned to Catalina for Christmas. The brotherly love on approaching the church melted my heart.
They did a great job during the service! After the service, we drove around looking at Christmas lights. It is an annual tradition from my childhood, and for some reason, Tyler HATES it. He wants so much for Christmas to arrive, he seems to think driving around is somehow preventing Christmas from coming. The truth is, driving around gives me ideas for next year's decorations, and more importantly, gives Tyson more time to get things done.
We put out the cookies and milk for Santa - chocolate chip per Tyson's recommendation. Then we put out food for the reindeer - when I was a kid, we just left carrots by the fireplace. But I borrow Aunt Jonell's tradition of putting oats outside, so the reindeer can eat while Santa's inside, arranging the gifts.
With Vader gone, it was convenient to put out his dog food bowl instead of scattering the oats on the ground. I think the reindeer liked it better, the oats were all gone the next day.
This year the kids remembered to wake us up, I think this was the first year they awoke before me. .
Tyler shows excitement by dabbing.
Love the fashion model pose.
It's hard to get spontaneous photos that show Grandma's face - she is always looking at the boys :) But I promise, she was there!
For some reason, opening gifts this year required opening one's mouth as wide as possible at the same time.
Seriously. We did not encourage this.
I don't know where they get it.
In the afternoon, Great Grandma Allaire, aka Gigima, and Anita, aka Auntie Em, came to visit.
I'll never forget the conclusion of their visit - on our front porch, Gigima grabbed me by the shoulders, speaking very emphatically to me, while out of the corner of my eye, I could see Tyson walking in circles around Anita's vehicle, drawing pictures in the dust on her windows, and Anita chasing him to erase each picture, but not wiping down the entire window, so the cycle continued, and Gigima's diabtribe concluded with her passionate cry, "I just want to live ALONE!"
Tyson's cousin James and his son Christopher joined us for dinner that night. It was so awesome to have all of the Allaire family at our house at some point on Christmas.
What a great day!
On the 26th, I briefly violated "Official Play With Your Toys Day" to meet up with our Candian cousins, the Pattons, for lunch while they were in town for the day. This was the day that I learned, routine finally matters to the Sleepless Wonder. The boy who never regulated his sleep cycle, who seemed to have no need for scheduled bed times, wake times, meal times, naps, or other activities, suddenly was a disaster without his routine. Tyrien was in full meltdown mode for the entire lunch, repeatedly throwing himself headfirst into the floor, bashing his forehead, then flipping over to his back so he could bash the back of his head as well. I carried him screaming to the car, stuffed him into his carseat, strapped him in, rolled down the windows, then walked back to the restaurant to say goodbye. Don't worry, I could still hear his hollering the entire time. Tyler, on the other hand, had a fantastic lunch, looking at his cousins with pure joy in his eyes. I would have taken a picture of that, but couldn't get the shot, because I had a whirling dervish attacking me the entire time.
The next day, I utilized a better strategy. I called in a friend. A friend I love and trust. A friend who knows how to survive the "stay at home mom" thing. A friend with kids my kids' age. And most importantly, a friend who has a zoo membership. Sarah!
Instant improvement in sibling relations.
At the end of our time together, Sarah and I chatted while Leo, Auggie, and Tyler embarked on an entrepreneurial business venture together. They even designated a CEO, CFO, and COO. Tyrien was assigned to manual labor.
The next day, I also had an effective plan of attack. Or so I thought. Roller skating with Eileen!
I paid for Tyrien to get a cheater rack. I refused to get one for the older kids. That thing about kids being human beings...Tyrien didn't need the cheater rack, because he was in no way willing to wear roller skates. Meanwhile, Eileen commandeered someone else's cheater rack.
Tyler and Eileen had a great time. Tyrien did too, once I gave up on trying to get him to skate. He danced on a bench for two hours. I got to skate around the rink twice in that time.
The final day of staycation, we went to Paula's to watch a fight. And by watch a fight, I mean...
As for New Year's, well, I think this says it all.
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