Leveling Up

I took my first Krav Maga test yesterday.

I started classes in early January, a New Year's goal to learn how to protect myself and my family from violence. My first gym closed down at the end of January. I decided to train at Rising Phoenix until the other gym re-opened at it's new location. But...it turned out that training at RP was so much more fun! My first exercise of my first class reminded me of being in a mosh pit, especially when he cranked the music, turned off the lights, and added a strobe. I trained twice a week for February, March, and April, until I tore my calf muscle badly enough to have to sit out for 6-8 weeks and get physical therapy. When I returned, at the end of June, I was frustrated at how far back I'd fallen. But it was still fun, and by then, I'd made some acquaintances. The owner announced the next test would be in September, and I felt disappointed, I knew I'd never be ready to test by then. Then he announced his gym was moving, and I felt discouraged. But I decided to give his new location a try, and sure enough, it was worth the extra drive. Then he announced the test wouldn't be until November 11th. My favorite training partner kept encouraging me to take the test when she did. I hadn't actually watched a full test, I'd only come in at the very end of the last test, because Tyler and I were watching a cow eye dissection, and he was into it - you can't just walk out of a dissection when your kid is into it! The rules are that you have to have seen a test, and you have to be approved to test. I was nervous to ask, but as more and more people kept asking me if I was testing, I finally asked the teacher, "So, for the test, am I...???" I made a tentative gesture. "Oh, definitely." His vote of confidence made me feel better.

Knowing I was testing in less than 4 weeks motivated me. I made myself a 21 day burpee/pukee challenge. I started with three sets of burpess, pushups, and crunches. I worked my way up to 70, at some point realizing that I didn't really need to do separate pushups if I was already doing them as part of the burpeees. Sometimes I tried to do sets of 15 burpees, but usually ended up back at sets of 10. Crunches, on the other hand, got much easier very quickly. And I was motivated to do my physical therapy exercises too, and stretch after. I did really well the first two weeks. The third week I slacked. And I had torn huge chunks of skin off my big toes. And was working around a sprained ankle. I rested the fourth week too, then felt panicky that I was now out of shape for the test.

I took the early classes on Thursdays, the intro classes, which were not much of a workout but were focused on technique. Saturday classes were much more intense, but not always working on relevant skills. My most frequent training partner and I stressed over gun disarms. I asked Tyson for help with it. It sort of helped. Kind of. He definitely helped me feel less squimish about it.

I ordered a different Krav Maga book, the one people on forums refer to as the Bible. I found Krav Maga instructional video segments on youtube. Whenever I struggled with a technique in  class, I read about it in the book, then watched a video, then tried to practice by myself at home. It was encouraging when I'd then try the move in the next class and get it right on the first try, when it was so confusing just one week before.

Three days before the test I got sick. I did my usual remedies, then resorted to Sudafed. My boss was kind enough to suggest that I take a day off, but I needed to teach. I reminded her I could rest on Veteran's Day. I went to class that night, and was a bit of a disaster - I could not follow the most basic instructions. The instructor pointed out the two of us who were testing, and announced that if we stayed silent during the test, we would fail. He gave us drills to perform in front of the rest of the class, stating he was trying to induce test anxiety. My training partner said she was nervous. I asked, "What's the worst that could happen?" She answered, "I might throw up." So the next day, I texted her words of encouragement. I felt she was in much better shape than me to be taking this test. She sent thankful and encouraging words back. I stuck to my word, and lazed about for the holiday, watching kung fu movies, then got serious about hydrating. I took Sudafed that night, which resulted in another night of insomnia. I watched Dark Angel for inspiration. Saturday morning I drank my usual amount of caffeine. I stressed when I realized I wouldn't finish eating breakfast before 8am. I stressed when Tyson asked that I meet him at the autoshop.  I packed four water bottles, three ice packs, extra bandages, tape, and pads, extra clothes, extra gu...and baby wipes for my sniffly nose. I had to pack and repack my bags, ending up taking two. I left later than intended - 9:35.

I arrived to the test at 9:48, thinking I had plenty of time to warm up. Instead, Jesse was already giving instructions on the mat, including announcing the location of the puke bucket. That really was an expected issue??? I raced to the bathroom, but rushed so much that I had to go again. I listened to instructions, then ran back to get my baby wipes. I showed my training partner, and apologized in advance for sharing germs. She seemed very understanding - who wants to wait another six months to test?

We started right at 10am with shadow boxing, followed by burpees, followed by straight strikes. At one point, a judge yelled at me, "What do you think this is, tae-bo?" I didn't know how to respond, but my partner understood the judge, and suggested, "slow down, focus, hit hard." I was able to pull it back and settle in. Then more burpees. By 10:15, I was shocked and concerned that it was only 10:15. I had one brief moment of nausea, but it waned quickly. By 10:33, I was exhausted, but confident. I knew the worst was over, now we'd get opportunities for rest - every time our partner attacked us.

We got started right away with a random series of  surprise choke attacks (standing with our eyes clothes until the choke was applied.)  I was confident on those. I was nervous about the bully headlock defense, and was pleasantly surprised when I took my partner to the floor with ease, over and over. Then more burpees, and then it was her turn to be attacked. I made it a point to take my time walking around her to surprise her - to give us both some rest. I was nervous about elbow strikes, which were to be called out by number. My partner was kind enough to give me extra cues until I got it down. I did the same for her, and realized, she was so exhausted that numbers simply weren't making sense for her. When it came time to do groundwork on the floor, my left middle toe began to cramp. I drank water at the break and applied trigger point pressure, but it didn't let go. I continued the test, trusting that it wouldn't get worse. Buck and rolls went okay for me. Ground kicks were a concern for me. I kept missing my takedowns, and then when it was my turn to be taken down, I missed a slapout and let my head hit the floor. I got kneed in the face at one point, and had to do the TMD release to try to soothe my angry jaw. But none of this felt terrible. Adrenalin carried me through. Then we had a five minute break. We were told to put on shoes and go outside. I booked it for the bathroom, and to my surprise, I could not pee. Given the toe cramp, I decided to take another squirt of Gu, in the hopes it had the right electrolytes to let my muscles let go. I put on my shoes, then remembered my baby wipes. I had been blowing my know and wiping my face at every opportunity. I ripped the shoes off, ran across the mat, grabbed the wipes, and ran back to put on my shoes. Three women from class gave me encouraging words - "You're kicking ass!" I went outside, and stood against the wall to rest in the shade. Next was sparring. I took some intense palm strikes to the face. Next was chokes against the wall, with the reminder to avoid getting our faces bashed against the bricks. Then we did gun disarms. I think I might have been the first person to choose to call out something threatening, "Give me all your money!" Then I heard the instructor say, "extra points for creativity!" I tried, an authoritative, "Get in the car!" and "Get on the ground!" My partner advanced on me shouting, "Give me your shoes!" I attacked and disarmed her and shouted, "I need my shoes, I have to walk home!" At one point she shouted at me to giver her my money. I disarmed her, tapped and racked, and responded, "No, you give me yours!" My last order to her while advancing with the gun was, "Buy me a drink, dammit!" It was fun to hear the spectators laughing.

After the test, we waited to meet with the other two judges and to be interviewed. One judge gave a speech about how we hit the wall, but then found the strength and courage to continue, how that makes us special, etc. All I could think was, "childbirth was so much worse!" He let me know I need to work on keeping my elbows tight to my body during strikes. The female judge let me know I need to practice getting up until it becomes second nature, and to protect my face. I was surprised when she said, "You had the best kicks from the ground out there today." I attribute that to physical therapy - all those bridges paid off. She also said, "Most people start off intense, and as they get tired, the intensity drops. Your intensity steadily increased throughout the whole test, you became more and more confident and aggressive as the test went on." She gestured with her arm to show an upward trend. I felt relieved that they didn't give any corrective feedback on the direction of the elbow strikes, or the buck and roll, or the gun disarm. They let us know that someone in the test wanted to quit after 14 minutes, and that it wasn't who we might think.

Doing an interview was tough, I couldn't think straight. And I felt a bit guilty for not being more tired, like maybe it was cheating to have taken Gu at the break. I knew at least one person was drinking Gatorade on the mat, that's pretty close. Then I noticed all the Monster drinks being consumed - that's just a liquid version of Gu, but with even more stuff in it. Had I not had that cramp, I would have skipped it. The cramp dissipated soon after taking it. True, you can't stop a fight to take gu, but then again, it's unlikely that you're going to be fighting off an attacker for more than 45 minutes straight. Note to self, carry Gu at all times, just in case.

We took some pictures and made plans to meet the instructor that afternoon for our complimentary beers. It was nice to get a few minutes alone with him at the restaurant. I told him Tyson was skeptical about the test, that everyone passes to preserve the business model. He acknowledged, "That's why I have to approve who gets to take the test. I only approve  people who I think can pass. But I never know who actually WILL pass, a guy today lost consciousness for a little while, I thought I was going to have to fail him, because you can only sit out so long before you fail. But he got back in, just in time. He explained that people have died taking the test before, hence the pre-approval mandate.

When the other testees arrived, we had great talks about kung fu, the ABO and NCLE exams, the humane society, gun safety...I planned to stay only one hour and ended up staying for 4.

Today I'm stiff and sore, mostly from missing that one slapout, and maybe from one hard elbow strike to the face. Bruises are badges, I have several. A couple months ago, Tyler pretended to stab towards me with his Minecraft sword, and I went through a disarm with him. He asked, incredoulously, "You know how to disarm a SWORD???" "Not really, but kinda." So I was thrilled when Tyler asked me questions about my test, "How many burpees did you have to do? Two hours???"

Time to prep for Level 2.