Ferocious Hugs

Tyler's officially 1 and 1/2 years old now, where did the time go? A book I read said described 18 month olds bumbling around a room, randomly crashing into things and then taking interest in them. Sometimes it sure seems that way with Tyler. But certainly there are other times where he fixates on something in the distance, and goes for it. One day I raised the blinds in our bedroom and discovered Tyler has started a coin collection on the window sill. I knew he played with the blinds frequently, but didn't realize he was hoarding money. As soon as I found his window sill stash, he switched hiding places. Now he's stashing coins in the sound hole of our acoustic guitar.

In June Tyler transitioned into the toddler room at daycare. We were so excited for him to switch rooms, but he had some mixed feelings about it, I think because the room has older kids in it at the beginning and end of the day, and he seems to be intimidated by some of the bigger kids - they're bigger. And faster. And don't always look where they're going. So for a while, he'd lay on the floor and cry each morning when I'd drop him off. And of course he'd still cry when I arrived to pick him up, but that wasn't new (the "no, I was only PRETENDING to have fun before I noticed you standing in the doorway. Really, you are a horrible person for abandoning me here all day" cry.) One little boy, two months older than Tyler, would try to soothe him and invite him to play. One day I saw him offer his teddy bear. Tyler accepted it, got up off the floor and followed the little boy to go play with the dinosaurs. Another day, the little boy and his older brother lay
on the floor on either side of Tyler, soothing him and inviting him to play with them.

I was always in a hurry to drop him off at daycare so I could get to work on time, so each day I would carry him into daycare and put him into the lap of whichever teacher was closest to the door. And somehow I was letting him crawl into my arms and I'd carry him out to the car at the end of the day. But that's not the parent I want to be, in too much of a hurry to help my child develop independence and confidence.... And so the day came when I decided it was time for Tyler to walk into and out of daycare instead of being carried. Tyson made that same decision at the same time, without us ever speaking to each other about it. On our own,  we each experienced one false start. But the third day, I'd decided I was done carrying him. Ironically, walking into daycare turned out to be easy - he actually raced his friend in, pushing past him to get to the toy shopping carts, nearly knocking one over in the process. It was so cool to see him showing off for his friend. Walking out was a bigger challenge. Tyler not only threw himself on the floor, crying and hitting the floor in full tantrum mode - he actually ROLLED over and over away from me, rolling again and again until he bumped into the wall farthest from the exit. I couldn't get him to stand up. Tyson arrived but couldn't get him to walk out either. We pretended to leave, to no avail. The sobbing and writhing continued. Clearly, it really was the end of the world. I pleaded with Tyson "We can't give in now! We'd be rewarding him for throwing a fit!" And so we stood, deadlocked, until the director took pity on us and tried a different approach, saying "Here Tyler, let me help you! We'll do it together!" while pulling Tyler to standing position and walking towards us. But once he got to Tyson, he threw himself down again. I left the building to put his bag in the car, and when I returned, he was standing, holding Tyson's hand, and when he saw me, he ran towards me, and out to the car.

The next evening, with the daycare staff clapping and cheering him on, Tyler proudly ran through the halls and out the door, all by himself, grinning from ear to ear.

Tyler took swimming lessons this summer. Tyler's slow to warm up to things, so a 30 minute lesson serves more to teach me what I should do with Tyler later, when he's ready. He's learned to climb out of the pool by himself, to kick, to blow bubbles, to move his arms in a crawl-like fashion, and even to go under water. Not that he does any of these things during the lesson. During the lesson, he climbs out of the pool, lays down with his cheek in the water, and goes to sleep. But on Sundays, when we spend a few hours there, he demonstrates the skills from the day before.

He's much more confident in his motor development class these days, and he actually loves to clean up. He practically pushes the other kids out of the way so he can pick up the toys and be the one to hand them to the teacher. He helps me at home with the laundry, moving the clothes from the washer to the dryer, or handing the wet clothes to me for me to hang. He also likes to take the washcloths out of the linen closet and bring them to me, one at a time. No clue why.

He's trying to figure out how to jump, that's very fun to see. He bends his knees, then abruptly straightens them, and moves his arms, but doesn't actually get off the ground yet. He still loves to read, and right now is particularly fond of a book about Halloween costumes.

That child development book I read indicated that kids this age aren't very affectionate. Tyler sure is. He gives ferocious hugs - runs to you and hugs you forcefully, growling at the same time. If you're not careful, he'll knock you over. But it feels so good to be hugged like that! He hugs Tyson and Vader the same way. He also likes to identify noses, eyes, teeth, and mouths, and hasn't yet learned to be gentle while doing it.

Tyler's vocabulary has grown by leaps and bounds since June. The first sentence I heard him say was in Virginia, as I strapped him into his carseat - "We go now." My favorite was when Vader was barking at thunder, and Tyler actually yelled at him "Stop talk!" Tyler's definitely entered the developmental stage of the "Automatic No". When asked a yes/no question, he emphatically says no, and shakes his head, quite convincingly. It's all to easy to believe him, and so we test him by asking contradictory questions. He vehemently shakes his head and says no to all the questions. H doesn't answer open ended questions, but he does make choices when offered. His favorite word right now is "off", referring to lights. He still loves ceiling fans, and watching the clothes in the washer and dryer.

Tyler has a favorite shirt - a turqoise tye-died shirt with a race car on it. Tyson says it makes him feel confident. He suddenly loves stuffed animals. He climbs on things now - he got up on the couch by himself today.  He's definitely a dog lover. And he likes dinosaurs, and says "Dinosaur - ROAR!" While he gives us those ferocious hugs.