Pre-K!

A picture of a picture...

We learned Tyler would be moving into Pre-Kindergarten a few weeks ago. When we talked to him about it, he initially expressed sadness, but eventually showed pride in moving forward. In the late afternoons, if his room was over capacity for the staff/student ratio, he would be sent to the Pre-K class, and when his original class size was small enough, he would be invited to return. He usually chose to stay with the bigger kids. Then last week, he and his classmates took turns spending the day with the Pre-K class. So by Monday, he was perfectly comfortable with moving on to his next adventure. This is Tyler we're talking about here. Tyler - Slow-to-Warm-Up- Keith. Perfectly comfortable moving up. Great job, CMDS staff!

We've been working on increasing Tyler's responsibility and independence at home. He prefers to have one of us dress him, feed him, get him milk or water, rather than doing these things himself. My mother tells me the apple doesn't fall far from the tree on that. Anticipating GodotDeuce's arrival in a few months, I wanted move Tyler along on self-reliance and indepence. He wasn't going for it. Fortunately, we discovered a great opportunity to turn things around.

The only TV Tyler watches is movies or shows on Netflixx, or DVDs, so he isn't exposed to advertising very often. As a result, he doesn't ask for much in terms of new toys or candy or breakfast cereals...so I was surprised the day he asked for a "Lightening McQueen Mac Truck." After extensive questioning in the car ride home from school, I discovered his favorite friend from school had brought one of these trucks in to Show and Tell, and that was how Tyler decided he wanted one. He never asks for anything. It occurred to me that we could set him up to "earn" it by doing chores. We often discuss that while he goes to school, Tyson and I go to work to earn money to pay for our house, car, food, etc. So I asked if  he would like to do chores to earn this toy, or if he would rather wait until Christmas to see if Santa would bring it. After discussing the concept of chores, he chose to earn it. Buy-in on chores - accomplished!

I asked Tyler to share this with Tyson when we got home. Tyson's thought was "That's a good idea!" Tyson immediately looked up Lightening McQueen Mac Trucks on the computer, showed some to Tyler, to get an idea of what kind of toy Tyler was looking for. It was expensive. We quickly figured he'd need to do chores for a fairly long period of time to earn it. This would NOT be a toy for a one-week experiment. One month would do. Next was picking the chores. To increase independence, we told him dressing himself by himself would be a chore, including putting his shoes on. He negotiated that he wouldn't have to tie them yet. We informed him brushing his teeth by himself would be a chore. He tried to negotiate on that too, but we held firm on that. Feeding Vader was another chore. No problem there. Cleaning up after himself - something I mindlessly do myself - became another - Tyson came up with that one. Picking up after Vader out in the yard was the biggest, newest chore of all. He liked that idea too. For that, we work on it together, and it includes wearing gloves, going on the hunt, placing the objects in a plastic bag that I carry for him, then removing gloves properly, following universal precautions, at which point I tie off the bag, then we go inside, and I show him how to navigate through the house without using his hands until we get to the sink to wash them. This kid can pass a "preventing blood-borne pathogen exposure" exam, no problem.

Tyler completed his chores for one month, talking often about his Lightening McQueen Mac Truck throughout. He sometimes tried to get out of putting on his own socks and shoes and about brushing his teeth, but would always comply when reminded of the goal. Eventually, feeding Vader became automatic instead of us having to tell him to do it. Once, without thinking, I fed Vader, and Tyler cried out, "That's MY chore!!!" As I'd go to turn out the light in his bedroom each night, he'd say, "Are you going to go do the dishes?" "Yes, Tyler." "Yeah, that's your chore. Good job." The final week of this venture, his packages from Amazon arrived each night, but he wasn't allowed to open them until that Friday night. I wish we'd taken a picture of his face when he opened them - so excited, so proud. A Lightening McQueen car fits inside the Mac Truck, and then he received an extra Mater truck too. Tyson asked him, "Which do you like better, working to earn a new toy or just getting one, like when Santa comes?" "Earning it!" Awesome.

So now the deal in Pre-K is, the kids aren't allowed to wear shoes with laces unless they are actively learning to tie their own shoes. Tyler has never wanted to wear any shoes other than Chucks, with laces. When we've tried putting him in other sneakers, he stomps. There currently is a shortage of low-tops, so he's wearing the high-tops now. We don't want to slow him down on tying shoes by putting him in velcro...So we informed him learning to tie his own shoes is one of his chores. He found a toy he wants next - a game they have at school. He also announced he wants a scooter. And so we have the incentive. I received a note from the new teacher that Tyler can't wear his Chucks to school anymore. I wrote a note back of the plan, including the motivational strategy. Sure enough, she relented. So far, he is able to make the first cross and she taught him to go "under the bridge." I can't wait to learn more tricks for how to help him learn how to tie his own shoes.

And I am so happy to have a child who takes pride in working to earn things, instead of just being given them!

As for GodotDeuce, things seem to be going well. Plenty of movement. Tyler has personnified GodotDeuce, informing me that GodotDeuce doesn't like broccoli, or telling me that GodotDeuce needs to take a nap right now. Tyler likes to tickle him or her and give hugs and kisses. (Doesn't feel good to me, but I encourage it. Figure the bonding's a good thing.) I keep catching colds and sore throats, so at a midwife's recommendation, I'm on a round of zinc and echinacea. The zinc makes me sick to my stomach, though. One week down, one to go, then I can stop taking it and hopefully will also stop catching so many colds.Otherwise, everything seems great. GodotDeuce flops around quite a bit at about 9pm, as though he or she is settling down for bedtime. There tends to be a bunch of movement again around 2 or 3am, then quiet again until I do an exercise video in the morning. He/she seems to sleep again until after lunch, then a flurry of activity again for a little while, then back to sleep until the evening routine again. I remember how I felt like I really knew Godot quite while, especially the fact that he hated it when I leaned over to use my bottom file cabinet drawer, but then when Tyler was actually born, he seemed like a little stranger I was meeting for the first time. I wonder if it will feel the same way with GodotDeuce.

Tyson started his new job at the county treasury, quickly learning lots of new things. At my job, our first overnight camp is starting tomorrow night, in which students (adults with serious mental illnesses who want to improve their health) will be bussed in from other parts of Arizona, stay in a hotel for a week, and attend our program from 8:30am til 7pm each day, returning home on Friday, and then returning to Tucson 5 weeks later for more overnight camp. Should be fun!